Slither

In addition to the regular icky things that show up on crime scenes, such as blood, gore, and dead people, other yuck-like items have a way of popping in too. Today I had a body in a marshy stream by a road. The stream ran under the street by way of a large, concrete culvert. Because the body was lying in the water at the mouth of the tunnel, I had the bright idea of taking some artsy-fartsy photographs from the inside the tunnel. It didn't work out so well:

Note that afternoon sun shines through tunnel and nicely illuminates body.  Have a brain fart and fancy myself a professional photographer.  Almost break neck falling down steep side of opposite roadway.  Wade through water to get to culvert.  Note that tunnel looks MUCH longer from down here than from the street.  Thread way through dead branches that are stuck in tunnel.  Start snapping pictures. Ahhhh . . . I AM an artsy-fartsy professional photographer.  Move closer. That's when I see the snake. 

He and I scream at the same time.  Snake races toward opposite end of tunnel.  I have mental picture of what's going to happen when a three-foot long black snake plummets out of tunnel onto a dead body that is surrounded by investigators. Decide that I should warn them.  Shout "SNAKE" rather loudly.  Note that it echoes in the tunnel.  If it was possible for snake to move any faster, he does.

Medical Examiner hears muffled shout and steps right into the mouth of the tunnel to check on me.  Sees snake.  Snake sees her. She and snake scream at the same time. Snake does an about-face! Snake is now racing back toward me.  Fast.  RETREAT!!  With camera swinging around my neck, I turn and run like Quasimodo out of tunnel. 

Fact: A scared woman will forget she is wearing a gun when she's running from a snake. Upside to Fact: Bullets pinging off concrete walls of a tunnel will probably not hit snake, but WILL piss off the people on the other side of the tunnel.