Farm Fresh Blog

Breaking and entering our house could have deadly consequences. With the number of dogs we have, it's highly unlikely that a burglar could escape detection for very long. That's why I was so surprised.

We have two houses - the cow farm and the sheep farm.  We generally stay at the sheep farm during the week and stay at the cow farm on the weekend. (Now this is important, so keep up here!)

The Master Bedroom at the Cow House opens up to a Sun Room/Game Room that has a sliding glass door which faces the cow pasture.  We rarely use this door.  In fact, we rarely use this room.  It has become a junk room containing a game pool table, an old recliner, leather stuff, old boots, etc.  It is, in essence, a Mud/Muck Room.

Monday Morning, around 4:30 AM, I woke up for a "call of nature" run.  Lily, the Border Collie, follows me everywhere, so she went with me.  We returned a minute later to find the door to the Muck Room standing wide open.  ????

I had apparently just missed the excitement.  It went something like this:

Other Half also feels the "call of nature."  Since Lily and I are in the bathroom, he and Cowboy head for the Mens Room (the Great Outdoors). He opens the bedroom door to walk through the Muck Room. Naturally, he does not turn on the light.  After all, if you plan on peeing off the porch, you don't want to illuminate yourself. (it's one of the things that separates men from beasts) Fortunately he put his glasses on first . . .  because there he was . . .

. . .a naked man . . .

. . . staring . . .

. . . at a raccoon sleeping in the recliner.

Now being a Naked Man puts one at a distinct disadvantage. Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, our raccoon realizes he is trespassing, so up in a flash, he races across the room, and slides through a hole beside the door.

And just like that, he is gone, leaving a Naked Man and a puzzled Border Collie in his wake.

Lily and I return to the bedroom to find the two of them, staring into the darkness.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

And so he relays this incredible tale of a rather brave Goldilocks Raccoon. 

"So what did Cowboy do?"

"Nothing. He just stood behind me." 

"WHAT?!!"

Cowboy said to me, "I didn't sign up to fight any little bears."

Lily snickered.

And there it was. With the police dog in her kennel beside the bed, and Blue Heeler at the other house, a raccoon had riggled into our home, walked across the room, climbed into the recliner, and fell asleep.

When we reported this to Son the next morning, he summed it up perfectly,

"Can you blame him?" 

No, but I certainly admire his pluck.

"I didn't sign up to fight little bears!"