Farm Fresh Blog

Those of you with nutty dogs will understand this post. Those of you with highly adjusted, perfect dogs (like Dillon!) will not, but please bear with me.  As we discussed in my last post, Ranger is a space cadet, (on a good day) but he's my little space cadet and I love him. Because he's such a nutjob, we normally take Ranger with us when we go to the ranch in north Texas because:

A) Boarding kennels are expensive and Ranger is horrified by the experience anyway.

B) No one who farm sits for us wants to watch Ranger. Imagine a space cadet with his phaser set to stun. That pretty much explains why no one wants to be responsible for Ranger.

Tomorrow I'm going to the ranch for a quick trip to check on house building. Because I'm taking a girlfriend, there is limited space in the truck and I must only take essentials. Now while Ranger may argue that he is "an essential," he was bumped by Mr Perfect. (i.e. Dillon)

As Other Half has pointed out many times, juggling our assortment of dogs is like running a penitentiary. They tend to sort themselves into gangs and we have to protect certain individuals from others.

Rules to live by:

1) Cowboy picks fights but always loses fights them. 

2) Trace is always looking to shank someone.

Because poor Dillon is the dog most likely to be attacked by The Mean Dogs (male Border Collies: Trace & Cowboy) if someone (Other Half) makes a mistake while juggling dogs (inmates), a certain gentle chocolate Labrador (Dillon) will be assaulted by at least one uppitedy Border Collie with a Death Wish. Although slow to anger, Dillon is a force to be reckoned with when attacked.

So to protect Dillon from any mistakes, and because he is more apt to play well with homebuilders, Dillon gets to go to the ranch instead of Ranger. The other seat will be taken by Lily. (Well duh! She is "an essential.")

Before I leave, Ranger had his lawyer draw up paperwork for Other Half regarding the "Rules Regarding Ranger's Care During Mommy's Absence."

They read as follows:

1) Ranger is to be given AT LEAST one hour of cuddle time with Daddy each day.

2) Ranger is not to be left in a crate in the living room.

3) When Daddy is sleeping, Ranger is either to be LOOSE outside or in bed with Daddy.

4) Ranger is to be fed two meals daily, plus snacks.

5) Ranger is to have free access to clean, fresh water (or a muddy pond)

6) Ranger is to be given free access to a cellular phone with text message capabilities, and cable television.

(Failure to comply with above rules will result in Ranger reporting said noncompliance to Mommy.)