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Wednesday, September 07 2016


Self-confidence can take you a lot of places, but some days it just leads to trouble. Although a misfit in a herd of Nubians, Liam has a high opinion of himself, and together with his best friend, Natty, every day is a wonderful adventure for the little prince - except yesterday.

Liam's day started as usual, I stepped out the kitchen door to feed the animals. All was well in little Liam's world until I noted the two Livestock Guardian Dogs, Briar and Jury were not in the barnyard but were instead, in the pasture with the cows.  This diverted my attention and Liam's breakfast. Since I noted this development after I had fed the bucks but before I had fed Liam and the girls, this resulted in a major upset of his morning.

No problem. He would just slither his ample fat belly underneath the gate and share breakfast with two Nubian buck goats in full rut. Yeah, it wasn't his brightest move. Who breaks into a prison of sex offenders?  Liam.

Much to my disgust, and Liam's horror, he was the cutest fluffy white sex toy they'd ever seen. Liam was actually happy to see the two Border Collies I sent in to rescue him. The bucks will be sending him love letters for weeks.

After breakfast the sheep and goats (minus the bucks) were released into the south pasture to graze. Oh joy! His favorite thing!  Because this area is wild and only partially fenced, I accompanied the stock with Border Collies and Livestock Guardian Dogs. This is a daily occurence and comes as no surprise to Liam.

The stock goes out. They graze and browse until their bellies are full. Then everyone comes back to the safety of the barnyard pasture to drink water and chew their cud. This is repeated as needed or time is available during the day. Liam knows the routine. Follow everyone back inside. The gate closes. Go get water and lie in the shade.

Not on this day.

I somehow failed to note that little Liam was dawdling and failed to make it through the gate in a timely fashion. I place all blame for this on Liam and his bus buddy, Natty, who should raise her hand and announce that her buddy was not on the bus before it left the field trip location. But there you have it, Natty and I both dropped the ball - or Liam.

Several hours later when I stepped outside,  Judge, Dayshift Livestock Guardian Dog On Duty, ambled over to me, and reported,

"Hey, there's something over here you need to see."

Sure enough, poor Liam was bouncing up and down the fence like a little fat white basketball. He was quite hot and most relieved to see me. Once inside he scampered to join Natty, his Bus Buddy, in the shade beside the trough. I was happy the dog stayed close enough to keep him from being pinched by the occasional day-ranging coyote that trots through there.

As if being sexually assaulted and abandoned was not enough for one day, the evening brought humans with a curious new syringe gun. The dosing gun looked suspiciously like a bottle. Not really. But close enough for Liam. He watched as sheep were selected for worming and pushed his busy body self right into the action, determined that if the sheep were getting a bottle, he, Liam the One-Horned Wonder, was gonna get a bottle too! To insure the humans were aware that no sneaky bottle stuff was going to get past him, Liam pushed and climbed his way into every sheep mugging, nibbling on clothing and pulling arms. He made such a pest of himself that his eyes were checked too. Since it could go both ways, and Liam was INSISTING on a trying out this fancy new syringe gun bottle thingee, we gave him some wormer.

And that was it. The ultimate betrayal. His bottle. Liam was ready to move to Australia.

Nevermind that he's weaned. Hasn't seen a bottle in months. And is fatter than a white Halloween pumpkin. That did not end his fascination with the syringe gun but it dialed it back a bit.

The sun finally set on Liam's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. The buck pen has been reinforced to save Liam from himself, and I shall take better care to make sure he is with his Bus Buddy when the gate is closed. The sun is rising on a new day now and Liam is once again, the Napolean Prince of his barnyard kingdom.


(For those of you who have not read the most delightful children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day  by Judith Viorst, I highly recommend it. The book is a classic and is a must-have for any child's library.)

Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 07:40 am   |  Permalink   |  4 Comments  |  Email
Comments:
Hows the book?????????? Wonderful tale today. Australia.... well that might be a bit drastic :). Mind you plent of feral cousins out in the outback.
Posted by Liz. Vic. Aust. on 09/07/2016 - 05:43 PM
The book is chugging on along. Taking longer than I thought to lace it together. I want it perfect before I start sending it to agents.
Posted by Forensicfarmgirl on 09/07/2016 - 06:07 PM
I can't wait!
Posted by Patty on 09/07/2016 - 08:40 PM
I feel SO much better about MY day now!!!
Posted by Andrea on 09/11/2016 - 11:12 AM

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