Farm Fresh Blog

Several readers have asked for an update on Trace the Troll Dog, so here it is:

Trace is still a snarky little wretched beast who remains a pretty decent cow dog. Not great, but competent enough to be a big help around here. Most of his herding limitations are a result of us not knowing what we were doing, and not having the time or gas money to keep up with his lessons. That, and the fact that if I continued lessons with the little monster I would surely have put a bullet in his hard little head.

Speaking of holes in his head, yes, he does still have a hole in his skull as a result of his poor choice in attacking the much larger and stronger Labrador Retriever. The hole is slowly closing and doesn't appear to affect either his working ability or his cuddly disposition.

In case new readers, or Troll Dog fans, feel I'm being a bit harsh in my judgement of the little bastard, I say this. Spare me. Live with the little monster. I love him, but I have no illusions. He is a resource guarding, hard-headed, beast who appears to be slightly autistic. He often shuns affection and social interacion, and shuffles off to isolate himself. If one were to mix the logical Spock, with the Wrath of Khan, and then added the Hamburglar from the old McDonald's commercials, that's Trace.  It does make a working machine though. Troll Dog would work himself to exhaustion and despite attempts to malign his character, I actually admire, and am quite fond of the little red dog.  In spite of his propensity to start dog fights, the little troll is a very valuable member of the ranch family because he is our go-to dog for most cow work.

His best jobs aren't planned. They just happen. Most recently, was the Black Bull Fiasco.

A wise man once told us that if you have a windmill and a black bull, then you always have something to do. We don't have a windmill, but yes, a black bull can keep you busy. Our bull rarely creates any trouble but on this particular day, love, or lust, was in the air.

The neighbor had moved a group of cows next door. Shortly afterwards, he moved a nice yellow bull over there. Shortly after that, ANOTHER neighbor's black bull leaped into the pasture with the yellow bull. Much bellowing and bawling ensued. At one point I saw the black bull bellowing by our fence, while the yellow bull was ramming the electrical pole and tossing dirt on his back. This was highly entertaining until I realized it had attracted the attention of our black bull.  He then commenced to bellowing back at the other black bull.  And the next day the sorry SOB jumped the fence and trotted over there.

Sigh. Lovely. Just freaking lovely. We called the Neighbor who was most polite about it, and assured him that we'd get both bulls out.

Enter Troll Dog.

Since it was a big job, we loaded up Troll Dog, Cowboy the Retired Dog who is still good for barking, and Mesa the sheepdog who lacks cow experience but wouldn't get out of the truck so she got to go for the ride.

Apparently the little scrawny bull had already kicked our bull's ass because we found him grazing alone by our gate, so we opened the gate to let him back inside. Unfortunately everyone else came too, including the other black bull. The other black bull sighted in on our cows and started heading over there. Our bull decided that he needed to get his butt whipped again, so he and the neighboring bull commenced to sparring in our pasture. We let them duke it out while the dogs rounded up cows and calves and pushed them back through the gate off of our place and back onto the neighbor's place.

Troll dog was quite useful. Cowboy the retired dog even got to help, and because I was getting desperate I even added Mesa to be a presence at the gate to keep outside cows from coming in while still allowing the neighbor's cows to be driven out. In short, it was controlled chaos, but as always, Troll rose to the occasion and got the job done. The Academy Award went to Troll Dog. Best Supporting Actor went to Cowboy. (And Mesa got a Participation Trophy.)

Our bull got his ass whipped again by the scrawny bull and trotted off for a drink of water. We used that opportunity to pen both bulls. Once safely separated they started talking smack again.

And we were able to high-five the dogs and get them cooled off.

Mesa isn't sure she wants to work cattle because they're a lot bigger than sheep, Cowboy insists he isn't ready to be retired, and Trace just ignores everyone and continues working toward his goal of world domination.