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Thursday, January 07 2010

I got into another major theological discussion with a friend at work tonight.  We have stood over many dead men and it tends to color one's views.  He firmly believes that Good doesn't prevail while I believe that eventually, Good will prevail.  I respect his views, just as he respects mine. We are all coming from a different place. I have learned over the years however, that my job most certainly makes you think about these things. It makes you ask questions, and sometimes you find the answers in the strangest places.

I play Twister over dead men for a living. I'm a crime scene investigator. In my world, I see so much death and despair that my relationship with God was getting pretty unsteady. I had questions about suffering that couldn't be explained. So many things I'd seen and experienced just didn't make sense. I began shaking my fist at God and asking "WHY?" But I would get no answer. This left me angry and disillusioned. I saw only a distant and aloof God. I needed comfort and proof of God's love. Then He sent 4 kittens... and they are Innocence personified.

The calico runt was so little that we weren't sure she would survive, so I named her, Hope. I thought of 1 Corinthians 13. It can best be summed up in the Alan Jackson song "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning."

"Now I know Jesus, and I talk to God,
And I remember from when I was young,
Faith, Hope, and Love are some good things He gave us ---
and the greatest is Love."

So I named the girls Faith, Hope, and Love. I named the boy, Brother.
Since God saw fit to send this rag-tag litter of homeless kittens, they have brought such joy. They are all precious, but tiniest one, Hope, has always been the most delicate.

Saturday night I came home from work and opened the door to their room. Three kittens came bouncing out. Where was Hope? I called and called. No Hope. Since she's given me this scare before, I started to search for a sleeping Hope.. And I found her. She was hanging on the back side of a chair. She had hung herself on a chair that the dog had chewed on months earlier. While playing, she had apparently become tangled in the frayed upholstery fabric.

I've felt a lot of Death, and as I grabbed little Hope's body, she was already getting stiff. Sick, I began to unravel her. She was still warm; she hadn't been dead long. I worked to untangle the fabric around her neck and prayed for God not to take my little Hope. But as I held her lifeless body, I no longer had hope. I yanked the last of the fabric away and began blowing in her nose and rubbing her back vigorously. I continued my desperate attempt at CPR on a kitten that was small enough to fit in one hand.... and she began to breathe.... and then she opened her eyes and started paddling her little legs. I set her on the floor and without so much as a backward glance, she toddled off to play. Then I sat back in that chair and sobbed as I thanked God for saving my little Hope.

When I had first picked her little body up, I had no hope. I've seen Death. I've felt Death. But breathing Life back into something so small was the most remarkable miracle I'd ever seen. I learned an important lesson that night: When hope is gone, keep on trying anyway. God may just send you a miracle.

Hope is none the worse for her ordeal. While I watched in amazement, she spent the better part of that evening careening around my office and playing SpiderMan on the curtains. I am so thankful that God left her with me a little while longer. These kittens have been a precious gift. When I told a friend that this experience had brought me closer to God, she said, "That's good, but it's a shame that it took a cat to do it." The comment hurt at first, but after some thought, I realized that she just doesn't understand. I figure God knew what it took for someone like me, and so He sent 4 scrawny kittens.

He still hasn't answered my questions about Suffering, Life, and Death, but I'm satisfied now. Something special happened Saturday night, and I won't forget that.

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you." Job 12:7

That was two years ago.  See how my blessings have grown . . . .

  Faith then . . .

  Faith now!


  Hope then . .

  Hope now!

  Love then . . .

  Love now!


  Brother then . . .

  Brother now!




Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 12:37 am   |  Permalink   |  3 Comments  |  Email
I suppose God could have hit you with a lighning bolt, or opened up a bottomless chasm at your feet to get your attention......but....He's a pretty smart Dude. He knew a kitten was exactly what would work.
Posted by Diane I. on 01/08/2010 - 05:36 PM
It was a most humbling experience that I shall never forget.
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 01/09/2010 - 09:40 AM
That brought tears to my eyes thank you
Posted by konny on 01/11/2010 - 12:04 PM

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