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Saturday, January 09 2010

Ok, I just have to get this off my chest.  Readers with delicate sensibilities should scroll past this part:

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HOLY CRAP IT"S COLD!!!!!! JIMININY CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE! CLOSE THE DAMNED DOOR!

Okay. That said, we can resume normal broadcasting . . . .

We got up yesterday and it was 26 degrees on the front porch. It was 30 degrees inside the barn. I was freezing my butt off! All you guys from Cananda, and Wyoming, and Montana, and Wisconsin, and New York can stop laughing at me now . . . .  This chick was born and bred well below the Mason-Dixon line and SHE IS COLD!!!!

We had planned to take some time off to celebrate Other Half's birthday. You know, go somewhere, do something, see some things. Scrreech! In this weather, the only thing I want to see is the underside of my electric blanket! Fortunately, our vacation plans were interrupted by the arrival of New Police Dog. We can't gripe too much about ruined "time together" because the Arctic Air rolled in and we have spent a lot of time together - feeding livestock and keeping them alive in this bitter cold. 

It all comes down to shelter and food - lots and lots of food! We also had to make sure everyone had water. Naturally all the tanks froze so we spent a good bit of yesterday busting ice so livestock could drink before the sun went down and froze their drinking water again. (sigh)  I used a horse shoe to bust 1 inch thick ice out of a 400 gallon tank.  My glove dipped into the water AND IT FROZE.  HOLY SHIT, PEOPLE!  FOLKS ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE THIS??!!!  (Canadians, STOP laughing!)

After we got the animals reasonable well situated, we headed off to Tractor Supply for more tarps, animal food (since we were there!) and hoses (I kid you not, it was so cold, the damned water hose broke in two - and filled Other Half's boot full of water - I laughed. He was not amused.)

Now when people spend a lot of time together they tend to argue about the stupidest things. We managed to have TWO major arguments in Tractor Supply.

Argument #1 - He saw a cold little squirrel in the front yard and suggested feeding it. I immediately launched upon this and grabbed up a big bag of wild bird food with nuts and berries, and sunflower seeds. He mentioned a squirrel feeder but then choked at the price. I pointed out that the birds and the squirrels were God's little creatures and we should take care of them in this cold. He pointed out the price. I pointed out that God had blessed him with a GOOD SALARY so that HE could TAKE CARE of GOD's little creatures. He looked at me like I was THE craziest white woman he'd ever seen and then put the squirrel feeder in the cart. I smugly assumed I had won. Then . . . as he rolled the cart down the aisle, he announced . . . "this way I can lure the squirrels to the house so I can shoot 'em." I almost shot him in the store. (to my younger readers - HE WON'T!  I promise!)

Argument #2 - Oli's dog toy: New Police Dog needs her own toys. So we went to the dog toy aisle to see what Tractor Supply offered in the line of fun toys for spastic maligators. I selected a really cool ball on a rope. The ball was cheetah-spotted!!!!! He wrinkled his lip at the ball and selected a tire. WHAT?!! I pointed out that the tire was boring. It didn't do anything. He pointed out that you could roll it. I pointed out that he wasn't secure enough in his manhood to let his dog have a girly-colored toy. He pointed out that the tire could roll. I called him cheap. He pointed out that the tire was the same price as the ball . . . and the tire could roll. So we got the darned tire . . . and she loved it.

And so did everyone else in the house . . .

                                                       

Now I have to hear him say, "I told you so!"


 

Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 09:22 am   |  Permalink   |  1 Comment  |  Email
Comments:
I don't care where you live...cold is cold and it's d... COLD.I grew up on the banks of the St. Lawrence River, so I could quote ungodly temperatures, but I lived in Fl for 20 years and when the pipes froze in Fl,I was just as cold. I'm sure pretty much the whole country will appreciate this spring like never before.
Posted by Janet on 01/09/2010 - 03:49 PM

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