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Thursday, March 11 2010


Other Half is not a morning person. He is so much NOT a morning person that if you told him the Hooter's Girls were serving coffee and bacon in his very own kitchen, he would tell them to hold on for just another hour and he'd fall back to sleep.  Consequently, the goats, sheep, horses, and dogs are fed by moi, the morning person.

It takes me about an hour - 50 minutes if I cut out the dogs' walk.  Other Half assures me that he can do this in 10 minutes.  Unh huh. You get right on that, Mister. The past two days were perfect examples of how Men THINK they know better than Women and refuse to listen to said Women when they are given advice.

Day 1 - I am running late for work and Other Half is going to pen the sheep for the evening while I take a shower and get in my uniform. (Don't ask me why I feel the need to take a shower before I play Twister over dead people, but I do.) I instruct Other Half to remove Briar (Livestock Guardian Dog puppy who cannot be trusted not to play too rough with sheep when she is unattended) from the sheep pen BEFORE he attempts to put the sheep back in the pen.  Otherwise Briar will greet the sheep as Border Collie tries to move them into the pen.  Sheep do not appreciate a 5 month old puppy bouncing on their backs and licking their faces because she has not had nose-to-nose contact with them in the past 4 hours. Sheep will tolerate this for only a few seconds before they turn around and run back over the Border Collie.  Thus, I give Other Half strict instructions to remove the puppy FIRST.  He ignores me.

I watch from the window as he heads out to the pasture with Border Collie.  Yep.  He was gonna do it HIS WAY.  Okie dokie, Smokie.  Friends and Neighbors, I MUST be PSYCHIC because that puppy bounced all over her little sheepy family and they turned around and ran back over the Border Collie.  I couldn't hear it from the house, but there appeared to be much cussing. I swear I could hear this though!  I am certain that I heard Border Collie say, "But that's not the way MOMMY does it!"  (said in the pleading tone of an elementary school child)

Day 2 - We attended a funeral in the morning, and thus, we were running very late that afternoon.  Other Half and Son had to pen healthy sheep and doctor injured sheep while I got ready for work.  I said, and I quote, "Take the injured sheep out of the alleyway pen and put them in their stall BEFORE you attempt to drive the healthy sheep through there OR the healthy sheep will just run over the injured sheep and there'll be a wreck."

They ignored me.  Both of them. I didn't have time to watch the wreck.  I saw two fairly intelligent men head out to the pasture with a Border Collie and so I climbed in the shower. Then I got dressed. Other Half came inside as I was about to leave. 

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"It was a (delete word) train wreck!  The healthy sheep ran into the alleyway and got mixed up with the injured sheep! It took forever to sort them out!" (There was more said, but I deleted that due to content of cussing and threats of barbecue.)

I then asked Son if I was invisible.  I needed SOME explanation for why his father simply couldn't accept that "I" might actually KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  Son patiently explained that this was not a problem specific to his father. He further explained that HE also heard my instructions and ALSO chose to ignore them.

"It's a Guy Thing," he said.

I then looked down at my female Border Collie.  She gave me a sad look and said, "I told them that's not the way Mommy does it."


Update on sheep mauled by New Police Dog - Wonder of wonders they are still alive!  God must really be smiling on these two!

Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 01:02 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email

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