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Monday, August 02 2010

Since Kona passed away at the end of June, I've dreaded changing the website photo section to remove Kona's pictures from "The Swampwolves."  I finally did it today. Then I cried all afternoon.  I consoled myself by adding a new "Never Forgotten" section which highlights Kona and his predecessor, "The Great Navarre." (read that with trumpets blaring please)

Navarre passed away two weeks before Baby Kona stepped off the airplane.  I had hoped that Navarre could help me train Kona, but alas, twas not to be . . .

When Baby Kona arrived, he had a very big Search & Rescue vest to fill, since he inherited Navarre's vest, and with it, the King's Crown.


And even though I horribly missed Navarre, Kona proved to be a delightfully charming and clever pup. Sometimes that's the only thing that kept me from killing him . . .

Come home from work after midnight in cold rain.

Note that Faithful Pup is at the back gate to greet you.  Bend over wooden gate and allow Faithful Pup to give "puppy kisses." Kiss puppy back.  Ruminate on how much you love puppy.

Note with pride that Clever Pup is learning to bring his toys as "presents" to welcome you home. Run through mental rolodex in head and try to classify the toy he is currently bringing you.  Recoil in horror as toy turns out to be a very plump, very dead, rat.

Curse cat for leaving rat where Clever And Faithful Pup could get it.  Realize that Hunting cat has been shut in spare bedroom and probably did not kill this rat.  Note that there is the slight possibility that Clever And Faithful Pup killed Slow-Witted Fat Rat.

See how proud puppy is as he chomps rat with delight and prances around to show you his rat.  Mentally race through options of how to remove rat from puppy's mouth.  Quickly delete option of touching rat with hands.

Ponder how to get in door without puppy and rat.  Realize that due to doggy door and relatively dry puppy, rat has probably already been inside kitchen.  Sigh and open door to go inside.  Watch in disgust as delighted Clever And Faithful Pup proudly chomps on rat and brings it to you. Realize that you are still clueless as to how to remove rat from pup without touching it.  Weigh wisdom of giving pup a treat to trade for this prize, (since that is obviously what he is shooting for . . .) because you know that if pup drops rat to eat treat, you will still have a dead rat in the kitchen.

Walk dogs to barn where there are rakes and shovels.  Note Clever And Faithful Pup happily chomping rat. Note Sullen Bloodhound who is wishing she had a dead rat to chomp on . . .

Spill cat food on barn floor and watch as Clever And Faithful Pup drops rat to vacuum up cat food.  See Bloodhound scoop up dead rat.  Mentally kick self for not adding that into equation.  See rest of dog pack race in to vacuum up cat food.  See Bloodhound drop rat in cold rain to get her share of cat food.  Sigh with relief.

Quickly scoop up dead rat with barn rake and sling it into horse paddock.  Feed horses who are now wide awake and demanding some retribution for this midnight intrusion.

Go back to house and give puppy and entire apple to rid him of "rat cooties" ("an apple a day chases the rat cooties away!")  Give other three dogs an apple in case they have rat cooties too.

Walk into bedroom closet to get pajamas. Turn on light. Recoil several feet back upon seeing unidentified object on dog bed in closet.  Kick self when you realize that purple felt bone in no way resembles a dead rat.

Take a shower and wash face.  Wash face again.  Contemplate scrubbing kitchen floor and brushing puppy's teeth.  Realize that 1:00 AM is not a good time to introduce puppy to toothbrush.

Sit down at computer.  Reluctantly welcome Clever And Faithful Pup as he crawls into your lap.  Note that he now has "apple breath."  Refuse to allow him to kiss you because you can still vividly recall him chomping on dead rat.

Realize how much you love Clever And Faithful Pup as he settles down beside desk and sighs with contentment.  All is well in his little world. Decide that Cuteness is actually a Defense Mechanism to keep you from killing him.



Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 10:23 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email

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