Farm Fresh Blog

There is nothing quite so humbling as taking a herding lesson - except perhaps looking at a photograph of yourself.  Nothing quite says "lay off the holiday fudge" like a photo where the photographer is focused on your dog and not on making YOU look good. Today I had both of those little humbling experiences and I feel like horse hockey.

 (Holy Crap!  Is that my butt?!)

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad . . . I'm in my 40s, I'm getting fat, and my dog and I suck at anything resembling something more than basic farmyard herding.  Let me grab another piece of fudge while I tell you about it.

Here goes . . .  We haven't had an officical herding lesson since last March.  Now while other folks bemoaned the fact that their dogs haven't SEEN livestock in months, I bemoaned the fact that my dog works livestock every day but we do it WRONG.

 Ironically, WRONG has been working for us.  We speak the same wrong language.  We dance the same Wrong dance.  We get the job done, but I know that we can do better.  Sooooo . . . it's time for lessons again.

I told our instructor that I was confident that she'd look at us and ask what we've been doing since March when she last saw us work. (She was much more tactful than THAT!) She watched us work, politely pointed out that my handling really, really, REALLY sucked, (She was much more tactful than THAT.) and that the dog and I had compensated for our lack of training by developing a communication that was INCORRECT. Add to that the fact that the dog had trained ME as much as I had trained HER (and we were both doing it wrong!) and you had two people (dog and human) who didn't have proper basic flanks.  (I KNOW!  How humbling!) So she tried to show me AND teach the dog at the same time.  Simple flanking commands . . .  But this time she wanted it done right, not this bizarre Pseudo-herding bullcrap we've been doing! Eegaads!  When you took away our incorrect communication, we sucked. And God help me with a sorting stick!  (I've been doing that wrong too!) Soooo  . . . Bless her heart, she tried to show me what she wanted, while showing the dog.  It just wasn't working.  (The dog is clever.  I'm a bit slow.) 

You see, the dog and I have developed this language. It's wrong, but when you try to change it, we both get confused.  Sooo . . . our instructor asked if Lily would work for her.  (probably not)  It made sense though.  Teach the dog what she wanted, then give the Newly Educated dog back to me and teach ME what she wanted.  That sounded good in theory, but in reality, there was not a snowball's chance in Hell that Lily was going to work for her.  (because Lily is a titty-baby)

It was ugly.  It was really ugly.  Lily bucked like a marlin on a fishing line.  She acted like she'd never had a collar or line on in her life.  It was a rodeo! It was painful to watch.  (In reality, nothing she asked Lily to do was unusual at all.)  Lily's reaction to me leaving her and having someone else at the helm was, and I quote,

 "I don't know you!  I don't wanna know you! You ain't my Momma, and you can't tell me what to do!"

 Lily Having a Hissy-Fit!

Friends and Neighbors, it . .  was . .  ugly. Lily had absolutely no intention of working for her while I was there.  So after some discussion I left the field and went to hang out with other handlers.  (Despite what the dog will tell you, she was not abusing Lily. Lil acted like she had NEVER been on a collar before.  Talk about a Titty Baby!)

Lily is planning on LEAVING the field!     

A few minutes later she returned Lil to me. (I think most of the time was spent convincing Lily that yes, she COULD and WOULD work for someone else.  "You will not DIE if your mommy leaves you.") Then using some trash cans and a sorting stick, she taught me the concept.  It's not like it was THAT difficult, but somehow when you had dogs and sheep in the mix, it was confusing me.  (I felt like such a doofus!)

So we thanked her for her time and we went home.  Then we grabbed up four of our own sheep and tried what we'd learned.  Eureka!  That simple little concept which had us falling over ourselves when the Instructor changed up our Wrong Language seemed easy now that Lily UNDERSTOOD the Right Language and voila, I was able to move from training trashcans, to working with a Border Collie and sheep again!

So we called the instructor, (who was still working in the cold with someone else because Lily and I had hogged so much time), to thank her for her time and patience and let her know that we FINALLY got the concept.  I hope . . .  unless of course we don't, then will we practice it wrong all month . . . And when we see her at the end of the month, we will be back at square one again.  Oh dear . . .

So for those of you who are lamenting because you don't have livestock to put your dog on, just think of this . . .you could be practicing it the WRONG way, EVERY single day!  Believe it or not, even though herding trial folks cringe when they watch us work, Lily and I always manage to get our work done. But just imagine how much work we could get done . . . if we were doing it the RIGHT way!

Ta Ta!  I'm off to go eat another piece of holiday fudge!  (and next time I will inform my photographer to not take pictures of my BUTT!)