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Monday, November 22 2010

I stepped out my back door to find this:

This is what happens when you leave a roll of blue garage paper towels out.

It wasn't a mystery who did it . . .

AND . . .

They are a team, the Usual Suspects . . . .

(I think "mentally", they are the same age.)

The mystery was not WHO vandalized the back yard.  The big mystery was HOW paper towels and the core ended up . . .

 . . . in the outside kennel with Oli!

                  "Should I call my lawyer?"


Now before you people with old dogs start feeling all smug because your yard and property haven't been trashed lately, let me show you this:

This mess was all over my kitchen counter.

I stepped into the house and was momentarily dumbfounded.  What tha?!! My first thought was to blame Other Half for the mess.  (A woman immediately jumps to this conclusion first!) But I remembered that Other Half was not home. 

Then I looked closer . . .


AHHHHH . . . this was not mud smeared all over the counter!  It was GREASE!

I had left a pan of grease and Lipton Onion Soup cooling on the stove so that I could pour it over the dogs' food. 

But who?!!!  The Usual Suspects had been outside with me.  So who?

 . . .  who indeed!

There is a suspect . . a suspect who is as old as Methuselah.  A suspect so old that her tumors have tumors.  Half blind, like Gollum in the Lord Of The Rings, she slinks about in the darkness, and people forget she's there . . .

. . . a suspect so intelligent that despite her age, she can use a kitchen chair to climb onto the stove . . . 

             and      . . . .

                                          . . .  help herself to an early supper.

  Alice in her favorite barn chair



So to all you people who thought your dogs had outgrown making a mess . . .

Think again!

There reaches a point where they are so old that they KNOW nothing will really happen to them.

 "Oh pu-lease! 

 What are you gonna do? Hit me? Pu-lease! We both know better than that.  Hey! Go easy on the Onion Soup next time.  It was a little salty." 





Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 06:45 pm   |  Permalink   |  4 Comments  |  Email
Bwwwaaahhhaaa! Alice is absolutely right. Old dogs and old people get away with a lot, simply because they are old. :)
Posted by CeeCee on 11/23/2010 - 01:00 PM
Ain't that the truth! Alice gets away with quite a bit just because she's ancient and has one foot in the grave. (And she works it to her advantage!)
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 11/23/2010 - 06:11 PM
So how old is Alice? She sure knows all the tricks.
Posted by Peg H on 11/24/2010 - 11:22 AM
Alice is only 12 years old, but she hasn't aged gracefully, thus, she is ancient. She has horrid skin allergies in the Fall and the Spring, she is blind in one eye and probably only sees shadows in the other. BUT . . . she pays close attention to meal times and any food left unattended. While she appears to be deaf, it has been discovered that she can hear the sound of a cellophane wrapper being opened at quite a distance. So despite what she will have you believe, she IS NOT DEAF!
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 11/24/2010 - 03:28 PM

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