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Tuesday, January 04 2011

Would you kill for this?

Apparently someone in this house would.

Last night I baked sugar cookies, and a certain muddy little puppy was drawn to The Food Room by the wonderous sugary smells.  He appointed himself The Little Chef and sat beside the refrigerator to supervise the cookie baking. He carefully watched as each pan came out of the oven. He oversaw as each cookie was iced and sprinkled. 

 All was well until I ran out of cookies, and I still had PLENTY of icing left.  That's when I reached into the glass cookie jar on the counter and pulled out the Milk Bones.  Now in our home, cookie jars hold DOG cookies instead of PEOPLE cookies, and EVERYONE in this household knows the sound of The Cookie Jar opening.

So Lily rushed into The Food Room at the sound of the cookie jar.  That's when The Little Chef mutated.  Suddenly Emeril sprouted fangs.  He watched as I iced the Milk Bones. Lily slid into position to receive the expected Milk Bone.  Emeril then attempted to knife his best friend. She laughed at him and bounced away.  Emeril followed her and attempted to drive her from the kitchen. Suddenly it wasn't funny to her

"Stop it!" she ordered.

"LEAVE!!!!" the Soup Nazi screamed.

"Do not MAKE me hurt you!" she said.

"LEAVE!! LEAVE! LEAVE!" he screamed.  Suddenly he became Achmed the Dead Terrorist, "I WILL KILL YOU!!!!  I WILL KILL YOU!!!!"

Right there, in the kitchen, with flour and powdered sugar all over the counter, and me on the phone, a dog fight ensued. I let it go for an instant, thinking that surely the ADULT dog would put the smack-down on this snotty little brat, but Emeril continued his assault in his crazed attempt to drive Lily from the kitchen.  I screamed at them.  Lily quit fighting. Emeril continuted to knife his companion.  (What a little beast!!)  With hands full of cookie dough and powdered sugar, I yelled for Other Half to come and evict the Enraged Emeril from the kitchen.

With sanity and order restored, the Milk Bone decorating continued.

  Emeril sneaked back in the kitchen but was a bit more subdued.  Bones decorated, I passed out beaters.

Yes, that's all I needed - Emeril high on sugar frosting.  But since he'd managed to behave himself, I felt that he deserved a reward for his improved kitchen manners.

And yes, Lily (and everyone else) got a Special Milk Bone. . .

. . . and Emeril put up his knives.




Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 09:51 am   |  Permalink   |  6 Comments  |  Email
Was I the only one reading this while feeding a Border Collie home made carrot cake with incredible low fat yet delightfully rich icing? Seemed like a perfect way to read the Milk Bone story to me!
Posted by Sue on 01/04/2011 - 04:35 PM
Was this Trace's first foray into Alpha land? My dogs get that way when I'm cutting meat. They both plant themselves nearby, in case I have a heart attack or something and bring the meat to the floor as I'm falling. They get so tense, just sitting there waiting, that fights have broken out. Good dog, Lily!! For not killing the little terror.
Posted by CeeCee on 01/04/2011 - 06:47 PM
My 2 Borders sit as close to me as physically possible when I'm getting into the dog cookies. They won't snap at each other but heaven help the clueless cat that might wander by! What a GREAT idea to frost the Milk Bones!
Posted by shawna on 01/04/2011 - 07:29 PM
I never dreamed I would say this, but could it be you don't have enough to do? Also, be very careful or O F might find them and think they are cookie for him. Thanks again for the sunshine! Cheers!
Posted by Sue in Wyoming on 01/05/2011 - 10:04 AM
Haaahahahaha! I know! Believe it or not, making those sugar cookies was a Major Event for me. I haven't made sugar cookies in years! (and it was exciting for everyone in the house!)
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 01/05/2011 - 09:38 PM
And NO! CeeCee, this was not Trace's first foray into Alpha Land. He is on the fast track to Alpha male. Lily and Ranger constantly have to correct him. The only dogs he doesn't challenge are Ice and Alice the Blind Bloodhound.
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 01/05/2011 - 09:41 PM

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