Farm Fresh Blog

     I'm supposed to go to a Patrick Shannahan clinic this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it, but at the same time, I'm a little scared since I'm well aware that Lily and I are certainly not a textbook example of how to work stock. We suck. Our outruns suck. Our flanking commands suck. More often than not, at a critical moment I can't remember the correct word, and Lily just reads my body language. (Oh crap!  I meant "A-Way," not "Come Bye!")  While Lily appears to know her flanking commands when the sheep are between us, when she is driving stock and I'm behind her, she doesn't seem to understand the words, thus I end up reverting to commands I used in agility and SAR with other dogs, "Get out", "Come 'ere" and "go-on."  At this moment, I hear a collective groan from the herding trial people. Yes, I've screwed my dog up. Yes, I know that. No, I'm not really ashamed of it. I suppose I'm not ashamed of it because despite the fact that our work looks like a train wreck on a Sunday afternoon, we still get it done. I can never be ashamed of Lily.  She gives me 110% of everything she does. She may not be a trial dog, but she is a stock dog. All her faults are mine.

Today is a perfect example of why no matter how bad we look on the training field, I could never be ashamed of my little dog:

Wake up to sound of a cow bellowing and dogs barking.  Livestock Guardian Dog is having a stroke because big Santa Gertrudis Heifer has climbed fence and is in the Sheep pen beside the house. Lock all dogs up except Lily (Top Hand Border Collie). Lock sheep up. Santa Gertrudis Heifer is in heat and doesn't understand that we do not wish to breed her to our Angus Bull but wish to breed her to Registered Santa Gertrudis Bull instead.  She is not a fan of arranged marriages and wishes to pick her own suitor. She picks - the bull on the neighbor's pasture.  This will require her to crawl in with sheep. Crawl out of sheep pasture. Go through yard. Cross canal. Climb into neighbor's pasture.

That is quite a journey, but Daisy Mae is not daunted.  She is a Heifer On a Mission.  And at the moment, nothing stands between her but an Irritated Human and a Little Black & White Dog.   She vaguely recalls that she doesn't like Little Black & White Dog but in her Love Lust, has forgotten why.  Oh Yes!  That's it! Little Black & White Dog bites heels. Bitch!  She then exits sheep pen the same way she got in.  Human produces food products (hay) which entertain her for a short time until Love Calls and she climbs in with sheep again. 

Freakin' Livestock Guardian Dog tattles and a short time later, Very Irritated Human and Little Black & White Dog reappear. Heifer discovers round bale of hay belonging to sheep and goats!  Woo hoo!  Pennies from Heaven! Dog bunches sheep up at end of pasture. Human locks alleyway gate to keep Heifer from sliding back out into pasture with sheep.

With a mouth full of hay, Heifer bellows to Boyfriend in another pasture to coax him into joining her and her newly discovered bounty. Boyfriend ignores her. (Men!) Little Black & White Dog with Freaky Eyes appears.  Perhaps if Heifer continues eating hay and ignores her she will go away. Bitch!  She bites! Heifer turns to leave. Little Black & White Bitch insists that Heifer walk to barn instead of joining sheep in pasture. Heifer ignores Black & White Mosquito. Bitch!  She bites! Heifer turns back to barn. Heifer discovers sheep feeders.  OOOOOHHH!  Crumbs!  Pennies from Heaven! Dog with Freaky Eyes waits. Human points. Dog insists Heifer enter barn. F**k barn! Heifer does not wish to leave feeders. Bitch!  She bites! Heifer slings mud into Human's face as she tries to kick Black & White Mosquito Helldog but walks into barn.

Discovers square bales of hay.  Pennies from Heaven!!!! Decides that if she squeezes her fat ass between bales and barn she will not have to leave Hay Heaven. Helldog goes all the way around the hay from other side. Squeezes her tiny self along wall and slithers up to Heifer's head.  Ouch!  Bitch bites noses too!  Heifer backs down wall and out of hay.  Dog reappears. Human opens stall door. Helldog insists Heifer leave Hay Heaven and walk through stall door. Heifer hesitates. Dog nips heel again. OKAY!!!!!  (Spoken exactly like Alvin the Chipmunk!)

Heifer goes through stall and exits other side to wander back outside with horses. Immediately checks fence to find that Irritated Human has locked gate which allows Heifer to get near sheep fence again.  Bellows to Boyfriend.  He ignores her. (Men!) Black & White Mosquito With Freaky Eyes stares through fence.  Heifer wanders off to eat hay and re-organize her thoughts.  Little Black & White Dog high-fives Human.

Thus is a typical morning in the life of Lily.  We have so much to learn. I have barely scratched the surface of what she is capable of doing and that's why I want to attend more clinics, meet more herding dog people and pick their brains. And even though we could never successfully compete in a sheepdog trial, I will always be proud of my Little Black & White Top Hand, for she is invaluable and I cannot imagine how we ever ran stock without her.