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Sunday, June 26 2011

We have the most annoying Peeping Tom.  Meet Redmon.

He stares through the kitchen window.  He is not looking at my orchid which has finally began to drop its blossoms.

He is not reading my farm ledger. No, Redmon is fighting with the red bird he sees in the window.  (Whoda thought my windows were that clean? Go figure.) After he has beaten that red bird, and himself, senseless, he flies to the back of the house to fight with the bird he sees in the bedroom window. 

Each morning at 6:30 am, Redmon attacks my bedroom window . . . repeatedly. Seven dogs, three barn cats and one house cat live here.  Redmon's days are numbered.  One day I will find a pile of red feathers and be traumatized by the death of a stupid little bird that I don't even like. 

But nevertheless, until that day, Redmon will bang his beak against the glass.  He's doing it right now . . . as I type.  Yesterday I lay in bed, ruminating on the problem as Redmon smashed his little red body against the glass.

 It went like this:

Try to sleep. The annoying sound of feathers and beak hitting the glass keep waking me up.

Brush/bang/brush/bang/brush/bang! Over and over and over again. House cat!  I have a house cat! Spring out of bed.

Locate sleeping house cat in spare bedroom. Snatch her up and carry her to master bedroom. Put dazed cat on dresser so she can see red bird.  Perhaps he will find himself staring at a cat and go elsewhere.  He is not that smart.  Cat is perturbed. Cat stares out window. 

"Bird? Hunt?  Hunt bird???  I'm retired, Human.  Didn't you get the memo?  HOUSE cat!  What part of HOUSE cat did you not understand?  House cat = air-conditioning + naps  Get it?"

Cat hops off dresser.  Redmon continues to bang on glass.  Lay back in bed and ponder the problem some more.  Border Collie Lily lays beside me.  Her eyebrows shift back and forth as the bird bangs against the glass.  Idea forms.  I can teach Border Collie to chase bird away from glass.  It will take me about 1 minute 45 seconds.  Hmmmmmm. . .

Do something I rarely do . . . think the idea through.  Ah yes.  While it will only take me 1 minute 45 seconds to train BC to chase bird, it will take Other Half several hours and about $145 dollars to replace the broken window.  Scratch that idea.

Lay back in bed and remind myself that I will not cry when I find a little pile of red feathers after one of the barn cats wanders close enough to the house to hear that odd brush/bang/brush/bang sound. I will not cry. I will not cry. 

Stupid little bird is gonna make me cry . . .

Posted by: forensicfarmgirl AT 02:09 pm   |  Permalink   |  12 Comments  |  Email
Comments:
Last week my Wild Child (AKA Blossom)-- much to my chagrin -- brought home a FEMALE cardinal. I wonder if Redmon is looking for his now deceased mate??
Posted by G'ma on 06/26/2011 - 04:34 PM
Try putting hawk silhouettes on the windows the bird attacks. He may go away.
Posted by CarolG on 06/26/2011 - 05:14 PM
I had one that kept fighting with the other bird in my car's chrome bumpers. I finally cleaned out the garage enough to fit the car in with all the mess. *sigh* silly redbirds
Posted by Sharon Martin-Holm on 06/26/2011 - 06:38 PM
Can you put some net curtain on outside or something non reflective for a while. (days) or even put green house lime (lime and water mix) on glass. Yr windows are dirty anyway ??? :)
Posted by Liz (Vic Aust) on 06/26/2011 - 10:04 PM
You are in for it now. Once they start, it can last for years!!! And just when you think it's gone... the next generation starts. We had one attacking our windows for about 5 years. He actually scratched the glass on the kitchen window. then one day we found the little pile of red feathers and bones in the horse pasture. Last winter, 3 years later, the attacks started again. This one goes at every window in the house. The only time he doesn't hit? When the pines put enough pollen out that the windows are coated on the outside and don't reflect very well.
Posted by Pam on 06/27/2011 - 10:10 AM
Yes, Day 5 and still going strong. At exactly 0630 hours, Redmon was banging his beak against my bedroom window again. He has now attracted Briar who is less than amused by his behavior.
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 06/27/2011 - 01:39 PM
A friend of mine had the same problem...fixed it with a couple of tablets of post-it notes...stuck them all over the window so the bird couldn't see his reflection
Posted by Jonnie on 06/27/2011 - 03:00 PM
hawk silhouettes will do it...owls, too, i think...does closing the curtains make a difference? or letting the dog OUT via the nearest door to go chase the bird away? (is it always the male of the bird species who does this kind of stuff? perhaps that's the origin of the term 'birdbrain'?) good luck!
Posted by clairesmum on 06/27/2011 - 09:12 PM
Just be glad Redmon isn't a big horn sheep. :-)
Posted by Eric on 06/27/2011 - 10:24 PM
I am sorry, I feel your pain but the photos of redmon looking in the window are seriously cracking me up! Have you tried a hose? Wait for him to start attacking the window and turn the hose on full blast and scare the crap out of him...might work?
Posted by Carolynn on 06/29/2011 - 02:08 AM
Redmon has expanded his range. He now bangs on the bathroom windows AND the windows on the horse trailer. Sigh . . .
Posted by forensicfarmgirl on 06/29/2011 - 10:15 AM
"At exactly 0630 hours" every day? Why would you want him to quit, sounds more dependable than an alarm clock. OH WAIT!! That's right you work nights. LOL
Posted by LYNNE on 06/29/2011 - 03:06 PM

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